Reigniting the Dream
On Returning to Dream, Girl, Healing Witch Wounds, & Daring to Dream Again
When Danielle Martorana asked me to do a screening of Dream, Girl almost a decade after the film’s release, I was speechless when we got off our first phone call.
She wanted to host a film screening, but to be honest, I wasn’t sure I was ready to relive the glory days of my life as Dream, Girl’s documentary filmmaker.
In another lifetime, I wouldn’t have hesitated at being part of the event. I did over fifty in-person Q&As alongside the film in 2016. I knew what questions they would ask, what to wear, and how to read the crowd after the screening.
But, I was scared to open that door to the past and see what it revealed about myself.
I have made one promise, and one promise only to Dream, Girl throughout the years: to serve the story, as a fellow Substacker
shared in her South by Southwest keynote about filmmaking that helped inspire the postproduction of my film. And if Dream, Girl needed me to go to Bloomington, Illinois for a screening, off I would go, with my tarot cards, and backup Blu-rays.The weekend of the event, my energy bounced into Illinois. Even though I was nervous, it felt like I was being pull their magnetically on wings, so I just allowed myself to be carried by the fluid energy.
The night before, my host Danielle took me out to dinner, and I was so moved hearing her story, how she found the film on YouTube, and was so inspired by the women in the film’s stories that she was able to find new purpose and start her dream company to uplift women’s voices in her community.
It felt surreal. I’d heard this kind of thing from women a decade ago, but here was Danielle, right in front of me, telling me how much the film meant to her.
The day of the screening event, I was sick to my stomach. The nerves of walking onto the stage after a decade got the better of me, so I tried to stay busy with work and buying souvenirs for my daughters at the local shops.
But the night of the screening, everything clicked into place. It felt like riding a bike. I double-checked the tech, the sound, my makeup. It was such a special feeling to walk in my old shoes again—bittersweet in some ways, but I was mostly full of gratitude. I had created something that lasted.
At the end of the screening event, we did a Q&A alongside local entrepreneurs, and Danielle asked us what the childhood version of ourselves would think of where we are now. The other panelists gave thoughtful and beautiful answers while I struggled to search my heart.
All my life I’ve wanted to be a filmmaker—but was I still one? Could I find the strength, time, and money to make another film?
I listened to my inner voice. The same voice that inspired me ten years ago to take the leap into the unknown, launch a Kickstarter that raised $100K, and make Dream, Girl.
On stage, I shared a new dream: my desire to tell the story of the witch, history’s most misunderstood mystic. How being a healer was one of the only lucrative occupations women could have without a husband in the Middle Ages. How over 50,000+ women were killed for their spiritual beliefs during the Burning Times. And how I think we are all healing from our own witch wounds that keep us afraid of the divine feminine inside us.
Surrounded by ambitious women, with Danielle by my side, and the voices of the Dream, Girl cast echoing through my soul, I felt some deep part of me awaken. I gave myself permission to dream, to imagine, and to crack open the next chapter of my story.
Something powerful unlocked in that theater and I know now, my filmmaking journey is far from over. It’s only just beginning… again.
What about you, have you ever returned to a version of yourself you thought you left behind?
What did you find there? I’d love to hear your story, comment below —free commenting for all subscribers ;-)
With love from Under the Moon Gate,
Erin
Intuitive Medium & Documentary Filmmaker
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